Yes, You Need a Divorce Script

Why won’t the odd things about divorce stop?? But it’s true, you and your ex-partner need a divorce script. Here’s why:

Right after a separation, emotions are HIGH. Of course. Your lives just upended. Maybe it’s a shock to one of you or maybe both of you felt this was the right time. Regardless, it’s the most emotionally charged time of the separation.

You will be calling mom and best friend to rant. But here’s where we need to be VERY careful. You need to keep that rant to an inner circle who knows what it is and what its for. This is still the father/ mother of your children you’re talking about. Still the person you spent years with. They may be acting like a monster but they aren’t one.

The first thing is that you and your co-parent need to get on the same page. Agree to no bad-mouthing. If they can’t (or you can’t) resist, think on this: your child will never forget what they hear about their parents. Adults will gossip for two weeks before they move onto the next. Kids will remember what their friends, friends of the family and even the other parent say about their mom/dad forever. It doesn’t go away in two weeks.

So, what do we tell the neighbours? The coaches, teachers, all the people on the periphery?

Here is where you write your divorce script.

You can do it together or the person better with words can have a go and then send to the other for a sign-off or tweaks. Keep it neutral and short, loving where you can and always, keep the focus on the kids and the shape-shifting nature of your family, not its end.